About Dr. Carver:
Dr. Melissa Carver is nationally known for her in-depth steps to manifestation. She leads training workshops offered around the globe to help individuals in how to think, not what to think.
Dr. Carver focuses on the creation of happiness, fulfillment, and love first, following up with how these traits affect our abundance in life. She truly covers all aspects of what we could desire in life.
Melissa will guide you in stepping outside of your personal perspective, gaining happiness and re-training your approach to challenges. Taking each moment from a mundane, unimportant speck of time to the awareness that each minute is the creation of the large goals that seem unreachable.
She has a passion for working with people who are ready to put in the work long after the workshop has been completed. Everyone from corporations to stay at home parents have accredited Dr. Carver for a happier, more productive space that generates more of what they want and less of what they don’t want.
She has been a guest on multiple television networks and the Bali based premier of the ‘Unstuck Summit’. She has enjoyed teaching side by side with various veterans in her field including the meditation master, best selling author, and creator of the 21 Day Meditation Process, Davidji.
Her fields of study have ranged from psychology, awarded best in class, onto nursing in early college years to find her true passion which led to a Ph.D. in Philosophy. Philosophy sparked her to specialize in metaphysics and connecting the importance of mental and physical health as a Certified Instructor of Ayurveda granted through the Chopra Center in Carlsbad California. Learning proven techniques from live classroom interaction with world-renowned teachers such as Mike Dooley, Deepak Chopra, and Davidji. Melissa continues her education each day, knowing that all topics have their connection to how we process life, form our perspectives and record in our subconscious and unconscious thought processes that ultimately manifest our reality.
She is an author for the Chopra Center as well as Urban Wellness magazine.
Where to Dr. Carver:
Links We Talked About:
Fun Quotes from Podcast:
These messages and teachers were here and we’re still going through the same type of conversations and fights and wars and struggles? We’ve got to get it together.
Don’t start anything in panic mode.
It’s what a lot of girls in the club are doing whether they realize it or not because all of us are in that club because we’ve gone through so many struggles that we didn’t really know where else to go to actually survive.
Transcript of Podcast:
The Sandi Savage Show
Dr. Melissa Carver
Sandi: Well, hey everybody. This is Sandi Savage. Welcome to the Sandi Savage Show. Today on the podcast I have got my friend Dr. Melissa Carver and I’m going to let her fill you in on all she is involved with. Hey, Melissa.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Hey, how are you?
Sandi: Good. Thank you for coming in. Tell us about yourself. Why don’t you fill everybody in on who you are, what you do, and where you’re located and all that good stuff?
Dr. Melissa Carver: I do a lot of things. I’m a mom first and foremost always, and a wife. I live in Berea, Kentucky. I travel all around teaching workshops and keynote speaking on all things mindset, self-empowerment, manifestation just all-around getting out of that conditioned thinking that doesn’t serve us anymore.
Sandi: Exactly, oh my gosh. Everybody needs that. I think if people got their mindset straight, that is something that holds everybody back is really just mindset.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Everything is mindset and we don’t realize how conditioned we are because we don’t know anything else. We only see from our eyes and our perspective so it’s always good someone else in there for some other perspectives.
Sandi: I love it when you’re talking to somebody and you get somebody else’s perspective on something. You go, “Oh yeah, that really wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it was.”
Dr. Melissa Carver: And “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Sandi: Or “Thank you for that different perspective so that I could get everything straight.” We need people, I believe, in our lives to talk things through. I’m personally a verbal processor so I always- my husband, he gets that earful all the time because I am constantly trying to verbally process everything out. How did you get into the field that you’re in right now?
Dr. Melissa Carver: Actually, I was working in a strip club for fifteen years. During that beginning process, I didn’t think I wanted to do anything else. I had no idea what else was out there. I had gone to college previously, and I thought I was going to be a pediatrician, but I remember driving to school one day and thinking, “What am I doing? This is not what I want to do.” I think I chose that because it sounded good. I remember having an intuitive thought, many intuitive thoughts as a child, thinking that ‘Dr.’ was going to be before my name and I didn’t realize that didn’t mean MD. I got caught up in that process of yeah, this is who I’m going to be, and it hit me in the face like, “No, you’re not.” I took a U-turn and ended up working in a club for a long time. For the middle-end of that process, I realized what I was actually doing and that was helping people and guiding people and manifesting more of what they want and less of what they don’t want. More people were coming in over and over repetitively to get my perspective and guidance. I was like, “Wow, this is really crazy that this is a strip club but people are coming in here-“ “powerful” in a business sense and some powerful internally and spiritually and those types of things as well- people that you would never think would be coming there for a thing that, for those conversations. People have a different perspective of what that all is. I was teaching the girls too and I tried to help them as much as possible. Most people at the club did want to learn how to manifest more money, how do we create more money. That’s so stressful. That’s what most people’s stress revolves around but there is such a broader picture to all of that. That’s how I got started. I was like, “This is what I’m doing anyway so I’m going back to school.”
Sandi: You’re saying that, and I was having good flashbacks of having the same thing happen. People coming in- if you’ve been in a club or worked in a club or anything- I was in the industry for thirteen years. I would have people come in and sit down and just want to talk for two hours, just needed somebody to talk to. People need that so much in their life and being able to help anybody wherever they are in that journey was something that I did all the time too. It’s just like, “Yeah, sit down and talk, tell me what you got. Explain to me what’s going on in your life.”
Dr. Melissa Carver: It’s what a lot of girls in the club are doing whether they realize it or not because all of us are in that club because we’ve gone through so many struggles that we didn’t really know where else to go to actually survive. Not just survive but thrive. We chose to go in there because we wanted to thrive. We still wanted to be able to take care of our family and travel and eat the type of food we wanted to eat without having to worry about where that next meal is going to come from. Sometimes when you’re young you want that type of cash that’s where you go but you learn so much during those struggles.
Sandi: The struggles are what teach us. I look at business now and different things, the things that fail, you’ve got to have that because it’s the things that teach you. I look at things now as either a success or learning and not like a success and a failure. It’s just success and learning. What type of learning did you do after that? What did you do to get into your field right now?
Dr. Melissa Carver: I geared back toward philosophy. That’s what I went back to school for and I also studied through the Chopra University in Carlsbad. Deepak Chopra. I’m sure a lot of your listeners are familiar with Deepak Chopra. The Chopra Center is amazing. Davidji is amazing. He is one of my main teachers to this day, and friend. The support system that whole community is, whether it’s the people that end up going to the Chopra Center as a student whether they want to teach or not, and the people that work there, all of them are very supportive.
Sandi: It is so helpful to have people around you that are supportive in whatever field that you’re in. When you got into this, what obstacles did you face getting into your field and how did you get through it? Was it getting out to Carlsbad? Was is your own mindset and having to shift in some things? What were some of those obstacles?
Dr. Melissa Carver: That’s a really tough question. I don’t know, off-hand. I really think everything kind of flowed really well as far as transitioning from the club out of there. A lot of my friends and family were worried about people finding out what I did because I did it for so long, but I wasn’t concerned about that. I wanted that to be a part of my story. Maybe just shifting from now not making all of this money to building a business. That was probably the hardest part.
Sandi: Oh my gosh, yes. I worked three jobs when I stopped working in the clubs. I was working three jobs at once just to try to financially make up what I was losing. I still didn’t and I was working hours and hours and hours a day. How did you get through that? What was your shift in how you made it through that?
Dr. Melissa Carver: You know the universe really took care of me as far as manifesting survival. I was also going through a big emotional breakdown during that time. I don’t know if it was a combination of things. It was the shift that was happening to my own personal re-birth. I had to go through that, I think. One thing happened and it really wasn’t that big of a deal, but my emotions and mind turn it into something ginormous. Then it dominoed, so everything that had previously happened to me that I could ever remember that was bad, all just came crashing in because I was the kind of person that was like, “I’m fine.” I just kept moving forward because that’s what we’re told we’re supposed to do. You’re not supposed to stop and be emotional and cry and lay in bed for week because that makes you weak. I think I fell into that. That was my conditioned thinking. I fell into that. I wanted to be strong and powerful and keep moving forward. I had a child at sixteen. I always used that as, “I just have to keep going. I don’t have time to be upset about anything” which has a purpose sometimes but sometimes we do need to sit back and actually go through that because if you don’t, it all does come crashing down. As far as financially, every time I would get to a point where I would think, “Man, am I doing the right thing building this on my own rather than going out and working for someplace else?” Like a Chopra Center in the Kentucky area or Cincinnati or wherever. I wanted to go it on my own. I would get to that point of questioning my intuitive thought of doing that, and then the universe would be like, “Oh, here’s a check for $5000.” That is the truth. I have to tell you all this story. Before I left the club, I wanted everything in the house to be all finished. I put in new hardwood floors and I was repairing things so I could have it just how I wanted without that being a thing, right? We go to California. It was our testing week. My husband is also Chopra certified so he teaches Ayurveda. He and I are out there for two weeks of testing and my oldest son was early twenties at this point. He calls me, he’s house sitting, and he says, “Um, I kind of flooded the floor.” I was like, “How bad is it?” “Oh, just a little. It’s just a little bit. The floor is just a little warped in one spot. No big deal.” So, I was like, “Okay.” He had left the water dripping because it was below-freezing here. I actually told him to leave it dripping. I don’t know if it was dripping or not, but either way, he left for a couple days in that two-week process and didn’t come back home. He was hanging out with his friends. We get home and literally almost the entire upstairs is flooded, had gone through to the downstairs so the whole downstairs. Ceiling caved in, the entire nine yards of a flood. I was so upset but then I realized that this is once again, the universe taking care of you because the insurance gave us quite a bit of money for that. We chose not to fix it in that moment and have that as a cushion while we built. We never know where it’s going to come from.
Sandi: You never know, that’s very true. What advice would you give someone starting out in any field? In whatever they chose to do to start out in something, what would you say to someone that is just wanting to veer off on their own venture?
Dr. Melissa Carver: Don’t start anything in panic mode. Panic mode never creates goodness even if it’s your dharma, your life purpose and that’s what you’re supposed to be doing, if we react with this ball of anxiety then we just create anxiety rather than our actually purpose. Taking that step back and allowing it to flow a little bit more and also not choosing what you want to do based upon, “Is it going to make good money?” You have to do it based upon, “Is it going to make me happy?”
Sandi: Exactly, that’s so smart. I’ve heard this before- if the world had more people doing things that they love to do; we would be such a more peaceful and happy place because people wouldn’t be so stressed out stuck in something that they hate. You’ve got to love it.
Dr. Melissa Carver: I think that creates a lot of this- the drug epidemic that we have. I think that’s one of the main causes is we tell these children, babies, at seventeen and eighteen years old out of high school, “Okay, now you have to make a choice. You either have to go to college or you have to get a job. If you get this job, you should just stay with it for life.” These babies don’t know what they want to do. Most forty-year-olds don’t really know what they want to do, right? We need to let these people process and appreciate who they are more. Rather than saying, “Oh, maybe you should keep that as a hobby not a job. That’s not going to make any money.” We’ve all heard parents or teachers or whoever say, “I can’t be an artist. Artists don’t make money.” We are discouraging their true calling and it may not even be an artist but that’s what’s getting them interested in where they’re supposed to end up. Wherever that may be, because it’s usually not that what’s we want to do. We think that’s what we want to do and then it kind of morphs into something around that and still involves it. I never thought I would be writing a book. I never thought I’d be writing at all. That wasn’t on my agenda but here we are: author from the Chopra Center, my book is almost complete. I had to accept that when offers come along, just accept those and try them.
Sandi: Exactly, it’s a journey. You know, people think that it’s got to be this, “Now I’ve decided to do this thing. This is the thing. I’m putting my stake in the ground. This is it.” It can be a great journey to get somewhere, where you never expected what it’s going to look like in the end. I’m still on that journey. Good grief. I’m just like, “I think today I’ll do yarn.” But I love it. I never thought that I’d be with so much yarn all day long. I love it. Who knows where that will morph into? I’m not so tied to saying this is the thing, this is the only thing. I’m not going to try anything else because I have to make this.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Or I don’t know it. A lot of times I think people turn down opportunity that the universe is giving to them on a silver platter because maybe they don’t feel comfortable enough yet. Or maybe they think it’s not related to their field, but they haven’t taken a moment to really think, “How can I morph this together?” because it might not even be about what you’re doing. Maybe it’s about who you’re going to meet along the way and what that’s going to turn into. Just enjoying the journey exactly.
Sandi: How did you meet your husband?
Dr. Melissa Carver: At the club. That is so out of his element. He is not a club guy. He was never a club guy, but he was there for a meeting. He made music so here we are, we got the stereotypical rapper. We got the rapper and the stripper.
Sandi: Wait, wait, wait. That sounds very familiar to me. Yeah, it is.
Dr. Melissa Carver: I was like, “Oh, I didn’t know someone like you really did exist. Hi, there you are.” I actually had a vision of him years before we met. So, when I met him, I knew immediately. His rap name was Verb aka Verbal so before I knew his name, I knew I was going to marry him. I’m not a drinker. I tell my friend who works there, “I’m going to marry him and have his kids.” She said, “Are you drunk?” “No, I just know it.”
Sandi: I think that if you have not rushed into a relationship because of anxiety of whatever, because you’re lonely or whatever, and you wait for what’s supposed to happen. I remember I knew I wanted to marry Tim almost immediately when I met him. When we started dating, we had been dating for just a couple of weeks or whatever and it was coming up on Christmas. I made a framed picture for him. In the back of it, I had put a note and I told him, “You’re not allowed to open this until next Christmas but here’s your picture. You can look at that picture.” On the note, it said, “My answer is yes.”
Dr. Melissa Carver: That is so great. I just got chills. That’s so great.
Sandi: It was around that time that- he actually did a little bit before that- we got engaged, in that November right before it. Right after we got engaged, I said, “Go look at this picture because I gave it to you last year when we first started dating.” He opened it up and looked at the back and looked at the note. I was like, “It’s always been yes.”
Dr. Melissa Carver: Beforehand, did you think something like that was possible or that that was just something people made up and exaggerated in movies?
Sandi: No idea that was possible. Oh my gosh. I remember even just a few months before that, I was laying on the floor crying going, “I don’t think that I’m going to-“ I had two unsuccessful marriages in my early twenties. I was in late thirties and I was like, “This is just not going to happen. I’m going to have to accept that I’m going be single.” Something felt off about that in me too. I was like, “It doesn’t sound right, though. I think that I’m supposed to be partnered with someone.” I was like, “I don’t even see how that’s going to happen. I don’t see how anybody”- because I have a pretty strong personality. I was going, “I don’t know that there’s anybody that has a strong enough personality to be with me every day.” Not in a bad way but I was going, “I don’t know that there’s anybody out there that’s even made like that.” And then I met old Tim Savage. I went, “Oh, there you go. That’s who it was.”
Dr. Melissa Carver: There’s someone for all of us.
Sandi: That’s right. I believe that for sure. And I’m so glad. Leo’s so sweet. Such a good heart.
Dr. Melissa Carver: He is so sweet. He’s a much better human than me, I promise.
Sandi: Tim is too.
Dr. Melissa Carver: He is just genuinely the sweetest, kindest, most loyal person I have ever met in my life. It’s really mind-blowing because again, I didn’t realize that people like that did exist. It’s wonderful to have someone like that and he’s calmed me down a lot. I have a temper. I’ve always had a temper so it’s a good thing that I am in mindfulness.
Sandi: Keep a good mindset, there you go.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Be mindful in the moment, that’s what I’m saying and how I’m reacting. They say we end up doing what we needed. We become our own hero and then we want to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone else how they can become their own hero. I think that’s how that all happened. He calms me down a lot because he’s so super chill.
Sandi: Interesting question for you, did you all have any issues at the beginning with your family or anything else with the race?
Dr. Melissa Carver: No, not even a little bit.
Sandi: That’s so great.
Dr. Melissa Carver: It has never been a problem anywhere, actually. A lot of people say Kentucky is so racist, if they’ve never been here. If you go to Cali, if you go up the west coast, they think people in Kentucky are just so racist and extremist and that’s just not the case. I think people here are the most kind, loving people there are. There’s ignorance everywhere so of course, there are racist people here and everywhere. I have had racist issues on my own, not with him, people thinking that I’m Mexican. People taking money out of my hand because they thought I was Mexican. One time at the club, I was serving at the time, so I was getting money from one man and he tipped me. His friend literally jerked that money out of my hand and said, “We don’t tip Mexicans.”
Sandi: Oh my gosh.
Dr. Melissa Carver: I did not completely lose my mind on this person. Somehow, I did not and threw it at him and walked away. I don’t know what the conversation was when I left, what his friend said to him, but I’ve had things like that happen quite a bit.
Sandi: You’re Melungeon. Can you tell everybody the history there? If you’re not from Kentucky, you may not know what that even is.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Kentucky, Tennessee, if you’re in those areas you may have heard of it and maybe not. Melungeon is a mixed race. Melungeon was originally a derogatory term. They kind of took it on as their own. I have court documents of my family having to go to court to “prove” they weren’t black so that they did not get outcasted, murdered, turned into slaves, whatever the cases were. The documents say things like, “No, they don’t have the Negro smell.” “I’ve just always knew them to be Portuguese.” Crazy things like this. It did happen in Kentucky. Melungeon is a mixed race of Moorish, which is black, who is also Arab-speaking, and is also Islam. There’s a lot of things going on in that one nationality. That’s something that I wish more people here knew because there were mosques here and there were Muslims here long before the founding fathers and most people don’t know that. I think if they did, they wouldn’t be so many people that are afraid that Muslims are trying to take over or that Muslims are out to get everyone. That they’re so against Christians or anything like that. They’ve always been here. You have to be really careful not to listen to the media and talk to our neighbors, talk to those people. Once again, just like with the race or anything else, I’m sure there are Muslims who don’t like Christians just like there’s Christians who don’t like Muslims. It goes back and forth with all races. We can’t say, “One person is” or “One group is” that thing. Moorish, gypsy, Turk and Native. All of those together makes a Melungeon and Melungeons do have Portuguese and some other random things. They have to back in their line and see what all those things are. It basically happened from everyone being on the coast and coming into North Carolina for trading. All of the Melungeons ended up being all in the Appalachian Mountains together so when we look back at history and we see some natives wearing turbans, no one explained to us in school why do these Natives have turbans on? That’s because they mingled together, they mixed together. They became one tribe and there were Moorish people who were running tribes.
Sandi: That’s so interesting. I think that our history and what we’ve been told of our history is so different than what it is. I really believe that with open communication with each other from whatever area- like you were talking about if you are Muslim and Christian, being able to- I’m Christian, there are plenty people that are friends of mine that aren’t and it’s not a good/bad thing. I think that’s what it’s turned into, is like some weird good/bad thing when it’s like, “No, we’re human so we need to actually be kind to each other.” We’ve got way more in common than we think.
Dr. Melissa Carver: There was a comedian, but I can’t think of who it was right now. He was like, “It doesn’t matter if it was Jesus or Mohammed or Buddha or whoever, it doesn’t matter who the messenger was: did you get the message? Did you get it?” We’re working on a few thousand years here. These messages and teachers were here and we’re still going through the same type of conversations and fights and wars and struggles? We’ve got to get it together.
Sandi: What do you think that the world needs right now?
Dr. Melissa Carver: Unity. Conversation. Education. Questions. Instead of getting mad at someone or assuming, question. I’ve been in the room before and this was years ago, the person didn’t really know me that well, they just knew some of the things I thought. I heard her say, “Oh, Missy doesn’t believe in God.” I was like, “I’m right here. I’m right here. You can ask me but actually, yes I do.” I use the word Creator majority of the time, but I could not wrap my head around why she was just spouting this out rather than talking to me about it. I love asking questions and I want people to ask me as many questions as they want to. Whether they think they agree with me, or they don’t. Let’s find out how we got to the thoughts that we had, going back to that conditioned thinking. How did we get here? Was it our parents? Did someone do something bad to us, so we categorize this whole group as that way? Or was it our preacher? Was it the community that we grew up in? Did we not travel? Have we never met this type of person before so we’re afraid of them because it’s outside of what we know?
Sandi: It’s looking at people’s differences and saying, “You’re different than me. I can’t be around you.” I think that is one of the over-arching things that we’ve done in the world that’s caused so much hurt and pain and strife. The church has done it to so many different people and different groups as if ‘these people belong, these people don’t.’ It is wretched, I believe, to the heart of God that anyone would be outcast, that anyone would be looked at and gone, “You’re different, I can’t talk to you. You’re different, I don’t want to be friends with you. You’re different, I can’t be around you.” I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, “That is not loving each other.”
Dr. Melissa Carver: At the end of the day, we are all God. If you’re looking at another human, based upon what they think, what their skin looks like, what they’re wearing, whatever their culture is or where they came from, what border did they cross over, and thinking of them as ‘less of’ then what are you? If you are someone who believes in any creator, what are you saying to that creator to look at It and what It created, and hate it based on nothing. Based on air.
Sandi: Unity, girl. We need more unity. Unity and open communication with each other.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Social media is great for that. I personally love social media. I think it’s fabulous. Everyone that is stuck somewhere, and they can’t travel, they don’t have the finances, or they are afraid. I know people that are afraid to fly, afraid to travel, that’s fine. Before you were stuck and you didn’t have the resources to talk to people outside of your area and in these different cultures and different countries. Now, you can talk to anybody, anywhere, at any time for free. You can get on social media and ask questions all day long. If the ego allows you to. You’ve got to break through that ego and don’t act like you know it all.
Sandi: Right. None of us know it all. There’s not anybody that knows it all.
Dr. Melissa Carver: I tell my husband, I’m like, “Look, I’m just going to have to live forever because I want to learn everything.” I’m not sure how I’m going to fit it all in.
Sandi: I’m totally a serial learner. I’m like, “I want to learn and research everything” which is why I get my hands in so many different things because I’m like, “I really want to learn from the top to the bottom what this is.” You all didn’t hear the conversation because we weren’t recording yet, but we were talking before and I was like, “I would like to learn how to grow my own botanicals and dye fabric.” I think that would be so cool and much more healthy for the earth. Not putting chemicals out there and learn how to dye cloth and fabric from flowers and vegetables. I think that would be cool as can be. Something I totally want to learn. I could sit and just try to learn stuff all day long. Thankfully, we have Google. There’s YouTube.
Dr. Melissa Carver: The internet is amazing. It’s my favorite thing.
Sandi: I don’t know how to do that, hold on. YouTube. Let me just check that. Oh, that’s how you do that. Speaking of learning, are there any books or podcasts that you’re listening to right now?
Dr. Melissa Carver: You mean besides the Sandi Savage Show?
Sandi: Oh, stop it. Yes, besides the Sandi Savage Show.
Dr. Melissa Carver: My friend just went with me to Baltimore and I started her on to your show too. I read a lot. I get these sparks of oh my gosh, I want to know about this, and I have to go find it. My husband will wake up sometimes and find me on the floor at 2am just surrounded by books. Just researching. My favorite things are spiritual books. I love The Bhagvad Gita, the Bible, the Quran. Just learning all of those makes one big picture and going back to that unity, it helps all of us understand one another. Even if you don’t agree with all of it, to just read it and learn it, it’s amazing how it brings everything together. You can hear a conversation and think, “Hm, I don’t agree with that, but I know how they got there.” I think that is one of our main keys in understanding each other. I don’t have to agree with it, but there are a lot of things that I do agree with. I think all of them are amazing tools. Davidji is one of my favorite authors. He has a few: The Secrets of Meditation. My favorite book and the one I recommend the most- I actually have it on me right now because I carry it everywhere- is The Writings of Florence Scovel Shinn. Have you ever read anything? She was born in the 1800’s and lived in New York and taught a lot of things that I now know: mindset manifestation, metaphysics. So, for her to be a woman during that time, and still getting that message out, is amazing to me. I don’t think she gets a lot of the recognition she deserves because it was so dang long ago.
Sandi: I’m going to have to read it.
Dr. Melissa Carver: It’s great.
Sandi: To wrap it up, we ask this of everyone that’s on here, what is something that is bringing you joy right now?
Dr. Melissa Carver: The sun. My husband always brings me joy even when he gets on my nerves. The kids, same thing, bring me joy all the time even when they get on my nerves. Our kids all the time. Right now, they are actually visiting grandparents so it’s a little weird for me. Everything about them, everything about watching all of them. All three of them, the kids and my husband, just brings me joy. Growth brings me joy. I feel like I’m evolving and growing every day. Can I tell a quick little story?
Dr. Melissa Carver: I haven’t had any anxiety in a very, very long time. Last night, it kind of got the best of me. I had to talk myself down from it and realize what is happening right now, get my mind out of the future. I was up and down a little bit. I didn’t sleep so great. This morning, first thing I went out on our deck and I’ve never in my life seen a hummingbird in our backyard. Ever. This hummingbird comes up and is flying all around my legs, actually touches my leg and my arms a couple of times. This was before I knew what it was. It’s just fluttering around, like a Disney movie, like spinning around me. Then I look up and it’s at my face fluttering there, beautiful, and then it flies off. I was like, “Oh!” I love those little messages from the universe. “You’re fine, you’re tripping. You need to calm down.” I love that.
Sandi: That’s so cool. I remember when I was leaving Miami. It was one of our last days in Miami and we went out into the ocean. It was just a clear, clear day. I was all anxious about the move and what are we going to do next? What do the next steps look like and everything? All the sudden, all of these beautiful fish, brightly colored fish, started weaving in and out of my legs. They were making an infinity symbol around my legs. I was like, “What?” I said, “Tim, look at this.” I was walking and they would follow me. It was just like everything is fine, everything is fine. They eventually swam off. It’s something that I’ve really tried hard to try, in the past couple of years to work on, is to stay in the present. Not letting the future stress me out and not letting the past define any of the future. Really staying in the present.
Dr. Melissa Carver: It is a job.
Sandi: It’s hard. It is a lot of work.
Dr. Melissa Carver: There’s a lot going on out there and a lot coming at us so to keep reminding ourselves, “This is what’s going on right now. You’re okay.” It’s work.
Sandi: I think that it’s now work just for people to have conversation, to fight against the phone, to be present with a person, to be present in your everyday activities, being present if you’re cooking.
Dr. Melissa Carver: That’s so important.
Sandi: Those kinds of things. We’ve just got to start living a little bit in the present.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Looking our family members in the eye and turning the tv off. Like you said, putting the phone down. We have a rule of no phone at the dinner table so at least during that moment.
Sandi: We’re going to be looking at each other. It’s like, “I see you.” Where can people find you? Before we leave, what’s your website and all that? We’ll have all of it linked in the show notes.
Dr. Melissa Carver: I also do see people privately, one-on-one, outside of just traveling and workshops. You can do that Drmelissacarver.com You can go on there and book straight on the website so you can look on the calendar and figure out what works best for you. Book straight from there.
Sandi: What’s your Instagram?
Dr. Melissa Carver: @drmelissacarver Facebook is drmelissacarver Twitter, Pinterest. All the things. I can’t get enough of social media. We connect with each other and learn and spread that message of unity. At the same time, like you said, there’s a balance. You have to put that phone down sometimes. I just spent a week not too long ago, a few months ago, with the Buddhist monks. They also love social media and they’re also on their phones taking selfies and the things when they’re not doing what they’re doing. I asked them about it. I had the opportunity to interview them and I asked them, “What do you think about social media?” “Love it.” I love hearing that because a lot of times I think people, they want to be spiritual and they want to be connected to the earth so badly that they start looking at technology as a bad thing but it’s not. It’s a tool. Control the tool, don’t let the tool control you.
Sandi: Yes, absolutely. You don’t have to, “I’m going to disconnect all of my social and never be connected to anybody again.” You go, “Well, that’s not really the point either.” Don’t let it rule you.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Exactly. If you think that you’re starting to become addicted or it’s a problem, then taking breaks I totally get it. Or even just taking it off your phone for a while. It’s not that one click and you have to actually go online and put in all the passwords.
Sandi: Or like not waking up immediately and grabbing your phone. Take some time in the morning where you’re just there.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Meditate.
Sandi: It’s like do something else besides just look at your phone in the morning. For the first hour, try it. The first ten minutes just to work yourself up. I like to have a nice cup of tea and everything but I’m so bad about just grabbing my phone and looking at it. That’s a little piece of self-care I’ve got to put into place.
Dr. Melissa Carver: Did anyone text or call?
Sandi: Oh my gosh, what’s happening? What’s happening? Melissa, thank you for coming, hanging out, talking to us today.
Dr. Melissa Carver: I wish everyone could see this beautiful building. If you’ve not been here and you live close, you need to come see it because it’s pretty amazing.
Sandi: Thank you. I’ll have all of the links and everything listed there as well as the transcript in the notes. We will see you soon. Bye.